The Nostalgic 90s

Well, this post is coming after a long gap. It is not attributed to my hectic schedule or anything remotely connected to being busy!! It is just a fallout of my dull creative sense and a dearth a topics to write upon.

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage—to move in the opposite direction.”- E.F. Schumacker

It all started when a friend of mine posted this video on FB.

I am a person who loves to dwell upon the bygone era and can spend all day remembering the small instances and chestnuts of my childhood.I spent my childhood in the 90s and that is what this post is all about: An ode to my Childhood. Life,in one word, was SIMPLE. There were no choices. TV channels meant only one thing – Doordarshan. Comedy was Shrimaan Shrimati or All the Best. When you had to wait for a week to catch up the next episode of your favourite daily serial.(And for most of us, the serials were Alif laila or Shaktimaan!! :D)…Everything was clear back then.Songs were not downloaded.Instead, cassettes were bought. Even an Engineer was held in high regards.:D Life,indeed has changed. There are countless channels. Countless shows. And Innumerable choices in everything. So, Do I like the change??

For a person like me, who has always admired simplicity in almost everything, the answer is clear .. NO. Because I really loved to wait for Friday to catch the new flick. Where even a one year old movie was considered new. I really loved it when we had only a landline and no mobile phones. No intrusion to my privacy. No pesky calls asking me whether I would like to have a Home Loan. When Radio was synonymous to Akashwaani and  I would wait all day long to listen to Ameen Sayani.Now, we have atleast 7 radio stations with all of them playing the same song over and over again.When I would woke up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings to listen to Rangoli and  Chitrahaar. Now, it is MTV,UTV Bindass and Channel V 😦 .  When the dreams were silly and childish. I remember all I wanted from life was a Rs.5000 job. Now,even 5 lakhs don’t suffice. :D. I am sure there are many other things which I still can’t recall.

Although I am completely in harmony with my Present, but somehow reconsidering all these instances just made me realize the amount of simplicity and innocence that I am losing every single day. The mind is getting cluttered with sophistication where I change everyday to satiate the needs of the society. These geeky equations might further sum up my point :

Age + Simplicity = Constant (For age <60)

Age – Simplicity = Constant (For age> 60)

Is there a way out ?? Yes. Feel stupid. Do stupid things. Take out that tape recorder eating dust from the corner of your house. Find a cassette and play it out loud. Get hold of a Chacha Chowdhury from the nearby shop and laugh your heart out. Catch a grasshopper and tie a string to its tail. The list is long and the space LESS. Well you need a punch to end your post. Here is mine.

   

Those 4 runs….

The brouhaha surrounding the elusive “Ton of tons” and the more recent incisive remarks made by Shoaib Akhtar has made sure that neither the people nor the media ever get bored of the Sachin Syndrome. Although I don’t intend to restore the lost pride of this great man….. (It would have been stupid had I tried that :P),but this recent controversy just reminded me of a small instance that Harsha Bhogle once mentioned in his talks. Something makes me think that this is perhaps the right time to share this story with you.

Date : 23rd March,2003

Venue : New Wanderers Stadium,Jo’Burg

It was supposed to be a dream match for India…..A match which instilled hope in the hearts of all Indians……All life had come to a standstill…..India were in the World Cup finals after a sprawling gap of 20 years. Every one had imagined it to be a perfect denouement with India winning the title and also avenging the monstrous defeat against Australia in the league stages.

But it is not always what we see in movies,with the underdogs toiling hard and managing a narrow margin victory. Everything had gone awry from the beginning. Zaheer Khan opened the match with a no ball.He ended up conceding 15 runs in the first over itself…India never seemed to be getting a hold in that match…Australian openers Gilchrist and Hayden made full use of their predatory instincts and smothered India to the very best of their abilities. The windy innings played by Ponting was the final nail in the coffin for India…Badly battered and bruised, India had to chase down a mammoth total of 360 runs..

Now a little bit on the genius of Sachin…..Legends are not made in a day and neither was he…It was what followed which makes him one of the revered persons in a country teeming with a population of 1.2 billion… One must have heard this maxim “Never see difficulty in an opportunity..Always see the opportunity in every difficulty..” It was Sachin who actually implemented this in his sermon to the  Indian team after the 1st innings

Sachin : So we need 360 runs to win. At what rate do we need to chase??

Yuvraj : At around 7 runs per over.

Sachin : We have some of the best batsmen in our team.Can we manage to score one boundary per over.

Sehwag (hesitatingly) : Yes, we can. But what purpose will it serve..We still cant manage to win against their bowling attack.

Sachin : The way I see it is that if we can manage 1 boundary per over, then keeping in mind the quality of batting attack that we have, we can manage 3-4 singles in the remaining 5 balls.. And there will be overs when we can manage 2-3 boundaries…Am I right??

Everyone (In chorus) : Yes, we can !!

This is the effect that the mere presence of Sachin serves…Tendulkar not only preached them but also made sure that he sets up an example…He played a flawless straight drive off the 4th ball that he faced…He got out on the next ball..This was a fodder for the critics who have always maintained that he has failed to perform in the crucial matches.Perhaps they suffer from what Aamir Khan suffered in Ghajni..SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS..It is highly important to remind them of Sharjah1996 and the more recent Hyderabad match….Battles are not always won in the battlefield..Sometimes they are won outside…But, India ended up losing the match by a huge gap of 125 runs

As most of us students will agree that marks are never a true reflector of our potential, being a cricket lover,I feel that runs should never be a criteria of one’s greatness. Sachin’s greatness should never be gauged by the number of centuries he scores,the no. of matches he plays…(Unfortunately both of them have been a characteristic of his success in the media)..Instead he should be admired for his attitude towards the game,towards the beauty of the shots that he play and the perfection he imparts to them and  towards the spirit that instead of having broken several of his fingers,he is holding the bat high and the flag even higher. No wonder,that most of the Indian team members dedicated this victory to SACHIN TENDULKAR.

(P.S :1)I hold both Rahul Dravid and VVS Lakshman in the same regard as that of Sachin. It is never a choice of selecting between them. Being a cricket lover, it is just the beauty of his shots, that makes me favour him than the rest of the guys. 😀

2) The instances mentioned in the conversation script are true but not verbatim.)

Sachin scores the 100th ton…Finally

Sachin Tendulkar can finally breath a sigh of relief.  His dismal performance in the recently concluded India England Test series is being linked to the heavy pressure that the master blaster is facing to reach the ton of tons. The ICC has finally decided to tweak a few of its rules to confer that award upon the GOD of cricket.

Addressing the media,ICC president Sharad Pawar said “Sachin has been under unwanted pressure from the last couple of months solely attributed to the hype surrounding his 100th ton. We have decided to finally cut him some slack.He has already scored a double hundred last year against SA. According to the previous rules,all the hundreds are counted under different categories. Henceforth, a double hundred will be counted as equivalent to  2 hundreds.Sachin’s chase for that elusive hundred has ended.”

The BCCI has welcomed this new move of ICC. BCCI spokesperson said “Sachin had been spending sleepless nights over this thing. We completely support this new rule. This move will certainly boost the morale of the Indian team.Afterall, in the long run, it has always been the personal records which matter,not the team’s performance as a whole. Keeping in mind people’s sentiments attached to Sachin,this series will be remembered for Sachin’s unparalled feat instead of the pathetic team performance.”

If some internal sources are to be believed, after drawing flak from the former cricketers and media channels over the awry selection process, the BCCI has forced ICC into adopting this new rule. The motive is simple. To divert people’s attention and to play with their sentiments.

On being asked for his take on the new rule Rahul Dravid said “Good for him I guess! Afterall, the GOD in a temple is always more important than the Wall protecting him!”

Meanwhile, Ravindra Jadeja has also appealed to the ICC to consider his 4 50’s equivalent to 2 hundreds.He said that after being praised for the first time(attributed to his last knock of 78) this would definitely help to boost up his image and he can rake in more moolah in the next IPL.

(Disclaimer : This article was not written with an intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments.I am one of the biggest admirers of the Master Blaster.The sole intention of this blogpost is to create humor.Hope you liked it)

Team Anna teams up with Emotional Atyachar for Uprooting corruption

The lukewarm response to my previous blog post just made one thing very clear…It is not easy to write and it is yet more difficult to convey your thoughts to the reader. In my case,writing even 1 post a month has left me with dearth of ideas to write my next post and that is why I have developed immense respect for those bloggers who are able to churn out 4-5 or even more posts in a month.Well, I am down to what I am best at. Making fun of people. This is my first attempt at Faking any news.Hope you all will appreciate it.

(Note: This article is a work of fiction. All the reports mentioned here are false and are completely a product of my insane imagination.Any relation to any person whatsoever is completely coincidental. It is a sincere effort on my part to create humour out of daily news. Hope you like it.)

In its latest move to hog the limelight after grabbing headlines last month, Team Anna has come up with an innovative idea to further tighten the noose on corrupt politicians.It has partnered with the highly successful Emotional Atyachar team for performing Sting Operations against potentially corrupt politicians. According to internal sources, this would be the last resort of finding the truth if a Minister is found innocent after the initial investigation process.In the pilot phase, this measure will be used on politicians only. Depending upon its success, this would then be extended to all other departments.Keeping up with their commitment to transparency, these videos will be available to the public for scrutiny, and can be watched on UTV Badass, 8 Pm, every Monday.

Touting it as the final blow to the anti- lokpal sentiments, Arvind Kejriwal said “After all  our demands were accepted,one person with the username of “UTVrocks” suggested on the IAC forum of teaming up with UTV’s Emotional Atyachar. Immediately our team decided to watch all the seasons to find out the efficacy of the process.We were fairly impressed with their ingenious ways of solving relationship issues and we hope that they will be equally helpful in finding corrupt politicians.”

Emotional Atyachar’s creative head, Roshni Ghosh agreed to have been contacted by Team Anna.On being asked about the content of the show she said, “This is going to be Legen…(wait for it)……dary.Till date, only the politicians have made money from us.This show will give us a chance of making money from their misery. As usual, the undercover agents will be clad in short skirts, minis and even bikini, if possible.The basic intent is to make them confess their acts of indulging in corruption,by luring them into a sex-driven relationship. We also believe that this show will also act as a fidelity check.This,in turn, will help their families to come in terms with their relationship.The original concept has been slightly tweaked to encourage active participation of aam aadmi. On the basis of  the SMS’s received from our viewers and the points awarded by the judges,we will declare whether the politician is corrupt or not.We have also changed the name to Political Atyachar. ”

The recent demand of Team Anna has sent shock waves in the Government.Most of the politicians fear that even if they are found innocent on the corruption front, this move will lift the veil off their voyeuristic inclinations.On conditions of anonymity, a politician said “WTF!! This is not done. We can’t let this happen.Although, the average age of MPs are quite high,but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have sexual fantasies.”

Janab Mukherjee shrugged off the latest demand as being preposterous. He said, “We will never accept this demand. This is yet another effort from the civil society members to incite people against us. After all, what show are talking about.I have watched all the episodes. No doubt, the undercover agents are too hot to handle. But the only person to have been deemed faithful on that show is Rahul Mahajan.”

In the meantime, Team Anna has roped in N.D Tiwari to judge the show along with former IMF boss Strauss Kahn. “They have both political as well have sexual inclinations. We are counting on their expertise to bring accountability to this new move of ours”,Kiran Bedi was quoted as saying.

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